FLOW and gifted children

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has with his FLOW-theory given us a model, which we can use in the discussion of stress and a lack of well-being. Simply put, the theory states that there has to be a connection between the tasks we are given and the competencies we have. If there is a connection, if the tasks match our skills, then we are in FLOW. This is visualized as the green band in the image below.

If we are instead given tasks that we are unable to complete (Or that we believe we are unable to complete), then there is a chance we grow worried about failing and become stressed. It is a type of stress that comes from being met with too great expectations.

Stress is also a risk if we are not being challenged enough. It is a type of stress that comes from a feeling of meaninglessness. Our skills are not being used and we become bored, which can result in stress.

Gifted people are at risk for developing both types of stress. They risk not being challenged enough in their day-to-day lives, which leads to boredom and, for example, not seeing a point in attending school. In this case the solution is to start challenging them in ways that motivate them and match their skills.

Gifted people are also at risk of demanding too much of themselves. Perfectionism leads people to have high expectations of themselves, and for some people these demands are unreasonable and unrealistic. It can be specific demands to grades, advancements (needing to be ahead of the curriculum), or the “method” (finding it embarrassing to ask for help). Here the solution is to adjust the child/adolescent’s expectations of themselves and strengthen their ability to do a reality check on their expectations.

The FLOW-theory has more layers than described here, and gifted people are more complicated than that, but being curious about whether an unhappy gifted person needs to be challenged or have their expectations readjusted is a great place to start. And both can be influenced by parents and teachers, even if the child is not cooperative…